Breasts popping free,
Molding willing curves.
Nipples nibbled on.
Erratic heart beat.
So much hunger.
Lips demanding. Wanting.
Fingers flexed. Needing.
Legs shifting. Clasping.
Flurries of shivers down the spine.
Luxuriating feel of flesh.
Overwrought senses. Glittering eyes.
Arms around shoulders.
…a lot of soul feeling.
Euphoric wild shudders.
I started this year with a few New Year Resolutions, just as most of you do. Ask me today, the last day of the year what they were, I can’t tell you cuz I’ve forgotten; just as most of you have. Sha this year was bitter-sweet for me. Yall will understand what I’m about by the time you get to the last full-stop. I made a few new friends that I intend to keep, and a few more that…well…catch my drift.
Enough of the rant, January 1st, Nigerians received a shocker! President Jonathan, in all his might and good sense of judgement, thought it wise to give us a new year gift…
FUEL SUBSIDY REMOVAL
From N75 to N120 per litre… Just great! So then we started #OccupyNigeria . What was supposed to be peaceful demonstrations quickly deteriorated into Violent protests across the country! Burning tires, theft, shattering windows and chanting rhymes. In my area yeah, I was part of those that gba front (was at the fore-front) of the struggle. Na so MOPOL come burst us, shooting anyhow. Well, being the true son of my father, I was the 1st to bolt! I guess they had Usain Bolt in mind when they created that word tho, cuz even cheetah no go fit cash me that day. A few weeks and N99 per litre later, 1 of my ‘co-Occupiers’ asked me why I ran and left my followers to their fate, I answered and said “Do I look like Jesus? Omo ma lo downgrade o, mcheeew”. Imagine question. Besides I was hungry that morning, I really don’t wanna be dying with an empty stomach, so that I’ll be starving at The Beautiful Gate, waiting to be sorted into Heaven or Purgatory. Ko jor!
January the 6th, turned out to be a very memorable day in my life…I met a special someone you see, and that day was her birthday. So I started the intricate art of p setting; but this girl made me wait till my birthday, May 19. Not until then did she become MY special someone
I was fresh out of a relationship in the last month of the last year, I broke up with the girl, four years long no matter. I came out of that ‘thing’ with a bleeding heart. I thought it’ll never heal and I sorta preferred it that way, cuz I wanted to play around and toy with these girls a bit. So when I met MY special someone, I thought to myself “oh, I go show this one pepper”…but all that changed in a few weeks. She was a tomboy cum lady, so she’s not your typical girlish girl, she’s not the romantic cry cry clingy type. So when she finally had my heart n started the mending process, it took me by surprise; but it was a welcome surprise nonetheless. We have been, since that time, we still are, till this moment, and I have enjoyed every part of that journey. Rollercoaster of fun! Thank you Bowale… Say, do u remember in december, your daddy’s crib, you and I? Lool, lowkey …Good Things Fall Apart So That Better Things Can Fall Together!
I got arrested once this year for staying out late, drinking with friends. We were locked up for an hour or so. We dropped 10k that night sha. Then the police took us out on patrol, we sat at the back of the pickup van with the rest of the policemen, patrolling the streets of Abeokuta. We got to Sapon around 2:25am, and sighted some hoodlums. Those ones took to their heels immediately, as if they were already expecting AK. We were ordered to give chase together with the rest of the Policemen. I started to run, wanting to impress. Snaking between the endless line of shops, I came upon one of the area boys. He was hiding in the little space between two kiosks…he looked wild, like a dog that just had his err, ‘doghood’ chopped off…I mean when it dawns on it that it can’t, well, PERFORM anymore, it has to be mad right? I could see veins in this guy’s eyeballs, pulsing. The look he gave me sent chills down my spine, then I spoke
“Egbon, mi o ri yin o, ema binu” (Senior, I no see you o, no vez for me abeg)
So I continued running… Abi now? Make I form Jet Li make the guy blow my eye. Mchew, e no go better for police! Anyways, we were later dropped off in school around 4:00am, after they had made close to 40k in one night. I won’t tell you how they did that tho, they swore us to secrecy, LOL.
When you get into a fight, I’m that kinda friend that says “Did you win? Let’s go up there and beat up they asses”…and then WE end up getting beat up, more often than not. But you see my niggaz luv me cuz I never bail on them! My faithfulness is unwaivering, that is something you hardly ever come across these days. So back in May when 1 of my friends, Saheed, came back from FCE Osiele with a black eye, I wasn’t gonna let the perpetrators go easily; Iya won! So we went to Osiele………….and came back. Now, in between the “we went to Osiele” and “and came back”, a lot of things happened to our eyes and our bones you see, I really don’t want to go into details now; I just know Saheed came off his P.O.P 3months later.
I used to drink heavily, blau SK n shii, but all that stopped in July. LEGEND was my brand, em Real Niggaz know how strong that label is. Two bottles and your life won’t remain the same. My niggaz and I used to take as much as four bottles each. Then we’ll take partners and hold hands, singing “for he’s a jolly good fellow” and other hymns, bellowing and swinging arms, laughing as we take turns falling inside gutter, jumping inside bush looking for wetin no lost…SMH…Sad days, but to us then we were having fun. I used to do weed and SK so bad. There was this day I smoked four Jumbo size SK. I was smoking with some random guys, we sat in front of a gospel shop, it was about 9pm so they were closed. There were girls, lap dancing us and ‘all’. Then on the table in front of me, there was a sign that read- JESUS IS WATCHING… I paused the moment I saw it…”but then, we’re getting high as kite, with girls pleasuring us n shii. This is the life mehn, I’m not about to let one SIGN spoil my night” I thought to myself. So I put the Ash from the butt of the SK on the sign and ended up with something like this- …US IS …..ING. So in my mind I was forming up words “US IS CHILLING, US IS NAKKING, US IS BALLING, US IS PANSHING”…LOL… It was at that moment that I knew I won’t make Heaven. I finished that night and was staggering along to my crib in school, then the SK started taking effect, and the earth was moving under me. With every step I took, the ground was slanting at a steeper angle. So in order not to fall off the face of the earth, I climbed up a tree. No for real, I did climb up a tree, and slept off on a big branch high up the tree. Well, I fell off into the rocky ground around 3:02am. While in the air, bouncing off the branches, I knew I was going to die. So when I finally hit ground head first, I had my eyes closed, u know, so that I’d be used to the cold darkness of Death. I had read it in a book sometime that Death is painless, but I could only feel pain in my body. So I opened my eyes, and there I was, examining the few bruises I had escaped with. It was at that point I knew God had given me a Second Chance at life, and I kept hearing “Use It Well” somewhere in my head. I cried that morning, I wept like a small child that his bread was snatched from him, by a Turkey…oh you don’t know Turkeys snatch stuff from kids? Well they do in my area, awon tolotolo aye! That, folks, was the last day I smoked anything! And my alcohol intake has been halved too. Cuz I intend to Use It Well.
I graduated later this year, was mobilized for NYSC Batch C in november. When we went to get our call up letter I was on edge, cuz dem just dey fling students across Nigeria anyhow. There was a nigga that had been making mouth for the past hour that he’s gonna get Lagos, he was really bragging n all “Mo ti runz e pa”. He got his call up letter…….then fainted. LOL! We went up to him and checked his letter, NASSARAWA! I was wondering where Nassarawa is in Lagos :s Anyways I got my letter, and it was Lagos! The Joy!! I went to camp with high hopes. I made some valuable friends I can never forget. The three weeks was filled with crazy memories but that’s a story for another day.
Sha I was posted to Airforce Secondary School Ikeja. When I saw the SS3 boys, the fear of the Lord was renewed in my heart. Me, in all my 6ft 1 grace, was looking like a JS3 boy standing in their midst. Very disrespectful lot. I heard one say “Oh not another bitch Corper”, then I knew it’d be a very long year.
This story don they long mehn, my keypad don dey peel sef. But I won’t go without mentioning Whitney, she made me write this piece. Girl you are appreciated…. Err… BYE!
Oh, HAPPY NEW YEAR YALL … Have a lovely 2013, stay true to yourself, don’t do drugs, if you must drink don’t drive. Remember AIDS is real, and Abstinence is key! But if you don’t want the key, then you can kick down the door; but always use a Condom. Blah blah bl…fades
I fought this hunger for as long as I dared
Then I let go and embraced the inevitable
Dark and Cold, Pale Skin, eyes full of sin
Walking alone bests walking in pain
No more heartbeat, no more shall I sleep
This darkness I have become
The lengths of this realm have I sojourn
The moon kisses and the sun stings
Riding the tides of time still
I am the Damned; I am Count Dracula
I count on your fright
I count the days of my might
The Lord of the manor of corpathia
A loner without strife
Slit the wrist and ignore the pain
Slit the throat and let it drain
No matter whose blood, it’s all the same
To me it’s life; to you it’s a game
I ruled the earth; seas would rise when I gave the word
Hills would tremble under my breath
Revolutionaries’ heads on a silver altar
Feel the fear in the eyes of the others
Your time to bleed is my time to feed
Your life essence is all I need
I have hate in my blood
Compassion, I can’t afford
Those were my days of glory
When my delusions of grandeur were made true
But alas! whence cometh this chill?
My castles have grown cold
My heart grows colder
But has it not been so from the start?
I feel the walls closing in
My tomb nailed forever shut
581 years and the age is starting to tell
The beauty wanes, the cloak fell
My brides can’t sate my hunger still
I feel like a puppet on a lonely string
One minute I held the key
Next, I’m falling on my knees
Oh! who would ever want to be king?
Who will dare sit my throne?
This is not defeat, it is but a setback
The king will be back
Take more brides just for the knack
Your flesh will be mine to feast
Your blood dripping down my lips
For a world without my dark rule is nothing more than an illusion
Now the old king is dead
Long live the king!
You see I have had 4 good posts messed up by MTN and the wordpress app. You could try and publish a post today, and it’d be one faithful morning when you’re taking your lastborn to school that it’d be successful, years after…its that bad. That’s if its successful atall gan sef.
But then I had to dust off the cobwebs on the app and just try again cuz of all these LISTS coming up on twitter. Sighzz, the never ending drama. I’m not here to bamboozle you with grammar, that could be for another time tho. I just wna make a few points so stay with me and don’t get carried away by the occasional sarcasm and crap you might see.
The bangables, top 40 intelligent chics, top 20 idiots, top 20 female fools, etc… Personally I see nothing bad in expressing your opinions and coming out with lists of who u think is this or that. I mean nobody pays your BIS right?.. But when yall start renting your frustrations ‘cos of a potential P gone wrong or generally take advantage of the attention to show personal beef, then you’ve abused the opportunity. I mean, how would you explain the OAU Mumu’s list? I even heard top 40 Ugly tweeps might be on the way. That’s just downright low, yall need to chill.
If na to say the ppl wey una dey list sef deserve to be on the list, we 4 hear… But then its all fun and games right? …and then the comments on those posts are just too hilarious, loool shii ppl dey vez gann. ‘Specially sum chics wey no make any list *holds laff*. Cmon now, what makes you think the person that compiled the Intelligent list is even Intelligent? And those upset because they were tagged Foolish in the other list, what makes you think the blogger is any wiser?…but some girls are even happy their names came out, lol typical, one girl even tweeted “if you dint make the bangables, the intelligent, the idiots, take home to mama, you shud close your account”
Like for real now?? It really should not be taken like that, if you made any list laugh it off, in the bloggers face…and you really should be laughing if you made Take Home To Mama list, especially if you know deep down that u shouldn’t be on that list . LOL
For the rest of yall that didn’t make any tho, why get mad? Why feel blue? Why hate on the ppl who did? You don’t need anyone to tell you you’re intelligent, or bangable, or take home to mama’able. For one, to be able to TWEET consistently, you need some amount of intelligence! Cmon its not Facebook, so give yourself a little credit, you’ve earned it. And if you’re a girl that either has brains, or is cute, or Endowed, or all of the above, then you’re bangable! Even if ur Ugly sef, atleast be Nice, and endowed…then you still get some . But if ur Ugly n not endowed, and a snub, like …insert handle here… well then good luck cuz you’ll really need it…
Then LeTiny made all the lists, looool that girl balling, likka BOSS, basking in the euphoria! Take home to mama tho, really? Make she carry my mama beat, beat me join sef, I think not! We’ll be home one sunday afternoon and hunger go dey knack me, LeTiny will lay on the couch with her legs crossed, reading a bestseller ‘Attack Is The Best Defence’ or ’30 Secrets Of Authoritative Women’, then I’ll be like “Soti dear”, WHAT , “ermm, never mind dear, I’ll go to the kitchen myself”…lol, I think not! Err… Worldpiss made two lists, fools and idiots. Lmao u gotta feel for the nigga. He might be an idiot to yall but he’s an idiot I like, he might NAG n all but atleast he makes me laugh and that’s enough for me.
Then the Obvious option in the fools and idiots list, Oracle! Lool that brother has been consistent enough in his folly to make the list, but I have news for yall, he stays winning. So if you’re an idiot, cheer up there is hope for you, atleast in Nigeria.
And I jus peeped into twitter now and I saw this tweet “he said Davido’s head looks like yansh!”…LOL, I don carry last again. The never ending drama!
Errr…yh, wna apologize to tymix incase he’s reading this, we exchanged a few words the other day, shouldn’t have happened. I’m sorry yo!
Then again that ripfacebook somebody, why does he have like 30k followers? I see his tweets sometimes and na rubbish dey full there, he doesn’t even make half the sense Oracle does. When has it become so profitable to be stupid? :s Except I’m missing something, but then what do I know right? ¯\..(•͡.̮ •͡ )../¯
Mchew wo I’m hungry, I’m stoping here for now make I go wack garri, hopefully MTN will let me be great on this post this time. Feel free to be retarded on your comments! I’m not proof-reading either, I don’t have the time, so any gbagaun must be a typo, I no fit gbagz mehn, my awesomeness is too much like that *fans self*, conceited nigga yh? Pfft, I cudnt give a care…then again I’m no coward, that there is my handle, I’m no ANONYMOUS! My name is Jide NOT John, I say alotta shit and I stand by it! So if anyone feels offended by anything I have said, please, be my guest . Plus I’m not a regular blogger, I don’t know how to finish a post with a BANG statement that will get yall laughing and all…u knw “leave when the ovation is loudest” thingy…I just end it, anyhow…(˘̯˘ )
HAVE U EVER BEEN IN LOVE? Horrible isn’t it? It makes u so vulnerable. It opens ur chest, n consequently ur heart, makes it easy for some1 to get inside and mess you up. You build up all these defences, u build up a whole suit of armor so that nothing can hurt u. . . then 1 stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into ur stupid life. . . You give them a piece of u even tho they didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb 1 day, like kiss u or smile at u, and then ur life isn’t ur own anymore. Love takes u Hostage, it gets inside ur head, makes u do the dummest things. It eats u out and leaves u crying, all alone in a dark corner. So simple a phrase like “maybe we shud just be friends” turns into a glass splinter cutting its way into ur heart. . . it hurts, oh the pain. . . not just in the imagination, not just in the mind; its a Soul- hurt, a real gets- inside- you- rip- you- apart pain. . .
But then you are a fighter, you fall but u won’t stay down, so u pick up the pieces of ur broken heart, slowly but surely, like the first steps of a child, one foot in front of the other, little steps turns into assured strides, then u are running, and d next moment you are flying. You forget the past, like nothing ever happened. Life couldn’t be better. And all of a sudden. . . . . . .
#pause. . . catches breath. . . # play. . . . . . .
All of a sudden, u see that all too familiar smile, from another beautiful face. . . and then ur mended heart skips. . . *POW!!!!* . . . you’re shot out of the skies, there u go again, falling. . . FALLING all over again, like a fool. . . a sheep being led 2d slaughter house. . . Like a fool.